Just for tonight
Do not whisper everything will be okay
Just let me fall apart
Cry all night
Let the fear take hold
I have been here before
Just for tonight
I let the loneliness set in
Deafening silence surrounds me
No hand to hold
No arms to make me feel safe
I have been here before
Just for tonight
Let the memories come flooding back
Reopen the wounds once closed
Allow me to be weak
Not sure which way to go
I have been here before
Just for tonight
I will curl up on the floor
Get lost in the darkness
Scream out for no one to hear
Inhale the bitter air
I have been here before
Just for tonight
Allow me to cry myself to sleep
Try not to wake for days
Get lost in dreams
Where nothing hurts
I have been here before
Just for tonight
And every night
I shut myself in my room
Screaming at God
Will I ever get a break
Until the sun rises
Then I will pick myself up
Paint on a smile
Pretend everything is okay
Build up walls
I have been here before
Inked Peacock Tales 
Yes I think we do have to let the hurt invade and take us over, cry, relive, shut ourselves away and resolve how to get up and carry on, even if it is all pretend, for a while, there will be better days, maybe shrouded in the thickest fog right now behind walls you want to be impenetrable, but you are a strong and resourceful woman and you have been there before, just take your time, gather your strength for there are people who rely on you and need you in their lives.
Sorry I feel I’ve delivered you two pep talks…goodness I liked your poems but I could feel your hurt..
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Pep talks are good. The hurt is very real. I know people depend on me and that’s hard when I don’t have the same.
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Yes I understand that is tough Anja….take care of you, there’s only one of you and you are important to so many…
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Thank you ❤️
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Everything I just said on ‘I am’ I reiterate here.
Beautiful, but way too personal and painful to be enjoyable.
More hugs
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Writing isn’t always about being enjoyable. Thank you as always.
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