Please tell me….where are your regrets kept?
Are they tucked in the hollow space between your clavicle and scapula?
Or do you prefer to pull them out each night so they haunt you in your dreams? Then as the morning rises, you tuck them in the tender places of your ribs.
Perhaps you sprinkle their essence on everything around you. You bite into the misery, swallow the daggers of pain then turn and cough up the blood in the words you put on paper just to revive them all.
I don’t understand why…..
I have hurt others, some intentionally and others not. I will not lasso the pain and weigh down my heart. I will whisper my sorries or drop to my knees to ask for forgiveness but then I will stand once more. I will continue on my path and use the past as knowledge not as self-torture.
In life there are have been people who pulled me close, looked me in the eye to promise I could trust right before they stepped around and drove a dagger into my back. Then others have offered arms to catch me when I am weak just to let go. While on the ground trying to heal from the wound and collapse, another offers a hand to help me stand again. Carefully I reach up to pull up to unsteady feet just to be pushed by the same hand that once helped.
Regrets…..I do not want a life filled with regrets.
Instead I prefer forgiveness.
In life I learn from each of my mistakes. I will not whip myself with a memory lash of the things I have done wrong. Instead I write them down to carry on my journey so I can remember and teach myself to do better.
Do not expect me to re-live each time someone has chipped away at my heart. My soul will kiss their soul with forgiveness and continue to move as if it had never been hurt before.
As I go through life my face will show lines and time will leave it’s mark, my body will eventually grow weaker but my soul….my soul will never be scarred. My soul will leave my body one day so it can draw my memories in the sky and etch my life in those I leave behind. I will be celebrating….not regretting a thing.
Written for MindLoveMisery Menagerie’s Sunday Prompt about soul-scarring regret