If I Fall, Who Will Catch Me


Standing on the edge, my toes curled trying to keep me steady
Arms outstretch, head tilted back and eyes closed tightly
Tears flowing from between my lashes…down my cheeks
Taste of salt lingers on my lips
If I just let go
Would anyone catch me

I hear your voice behind me
“Trust me”
“I would never hurt you”
Those words caress my skin
Weaken my resolve
Allowing my heart to trust
and then it happens

The world shifts and I slip
My hand reaches to find you
Eyes search the darkness where you once stood
Words left dangling in the air
My fingers touch them as they hang
Just like you
My grasp finds nothing
No anchor
No home
Then I fall

I have become use to this feeling
It is like a curse that has been placed upon my heart
No matter how great I love
Where I place my trust doesn’t exist

For the briefest moment it can be a relief
Because for just a second
You feel nothing
No fear
No pain
No anxiety
You just let go completely

Until the inevitable
The moment you catch your breathe
That is when you hit
Shatters you completely
Then silence

Finally you breath again
You feel again
The pain is unbearable
Tears come pouring out
Curling up into yourself
You are broken once more
You are still alive
That means you take time to heal
Stand once more
Slowly move forward
However in the back of your mind
You are fearful
One day
The fall will be your last

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