I have often been asked how I write the way I do…I am not always sure what that means. I may ask to clarify because honestly, I write with a pen to paper then transfer it to the computer. Or I just leave it on the paper for only me to read. But isn’t that like what others do? If I say that, some laugh and let it be done while others want to know more.
Now, if you would like I can pull you over to this side so you can discover how I write. I will take you on my journey.
Are you ready?
Come take my hand…let’s begin shall we?
I am going to hold your hand for a bit just to help guide you. I have never done this before so let’s see how this journey goes. I guess a proper introduction is needed. First, I am Anja…nice to meet you. Now that we have that sorted, I truly hope you are ready…I am not sure I am but let’s just seize the moment right?
You better keep holding my hand. We do need a bit of magic to accomplish this and you also have to allow your heart to feel mine, your eyes to see through mine and open your mind up….come along. First thing people tend to notice are my hands. I will show you my palms, they look older on the inside. It is said my body holds an old soul. Maybe I was just in the tub too long? Anyhow, they are also very warm. Let me take your hand in both of mine and you can feel the heat from them. It will warm you up, comfort you or it can also make you uncomfortable if you are not wanting such closeness. My heart pours out of my hands in many ways. This is one of them…
First stop….my mind. Let us tip toe into where all my writing seems to start. Please tread carefully because it is rather a busy place. If you look to the left you will see the movie projector shuffling through images. Those are my memories and yes I love vintage items so I prefer the projector to something high def. Isn’t there just something about how the images move like they are stuttering and the imperfections on the film? Don’t stare too long because that is a little rude….I kid of course.
Beside my memories, close by you will always find my emotions jumping about in a bounce house. They have learned to play together and sometimes I go to them first when writing something. Typically one will come to me, jump down to my heart and beg to come out. I allow them a lot of freedom but still try and keep them close to protect them. Some feelings came from hard times and bare scars. Still very vulnerable but I do let them out to get stronger.
Now if you notice anything strange in here like you can taste a color, words come to life or music creates a painting, that is okay. My sensory and cognitive paths have crossed a bit, okay a lot, as I was being created. It make take some time for you to adjust and its the only way I know. Music comes on and I see the most beautiful, colorful images in my head, then I paint or draw which causes me to pull colors….I can then taste and feel the image as it comes out on paper. Numbers jumble about as well and I can speak to them in a different way than just adding/subtracting. Once that happens, words typically start rolling about to get in the action.
I should tell you to always be on the look out for my words. I collect them, all varieties, forms, and languages. I truly love them and the power they have. They are free to roam all over and I hope you do not have arachnophobia because they do tend to crawl about on top of one another. They travel in groups and sometimes pair up with other random words. I will notice a few in a corner put together so beautiful, I immediately write them down to cause people to experience how they work together. Please do not try and steal any of my words because although you may know many, I put them together for me. You can do the same if you try.
Excuse me…are you squeezing my brain right now? Silly….hope you got that out of your system now so we can continue on. Ready to drop down and jump behind my eyes? Alrighty!
Please avoid the temptation to bounce my eyes about like a ball. I know they are squishy and it may look fun but I kind of need them. Okay maybe after the tour I will let you try but for now, lets look out okay? What do you see? Hmmmmm You see the world but I am afraid you need to be connected to my mixed up pathways to view it as me. I see so much beauty even in the places most do not want to see. There truly is beauty in all the people, places and especially in the small places most never peek. Now you may want to use my nose and ears to fully take it in. You need to listen to voices, nature and all the details in the symphony of our world. Breathe in the essence of all around. Yes even the not so good smells….they are important as well. If you step back and see the colors that make up my eyes you will notice they are blue, gold and hints of green and brown. I love the palette that was designed for my eyes. They are truly unique. Okay stop staring and let us move on.
Now you are sliding down or is it up, my tongue. It tickles a bit I know but I really need this in creating as well. Watch out, there are some words rolling about. I keep many here because I truly love the way they feel and form on my tongue. They can be quite delectable. Also, the tongue is very sensual but I do not have to tell you that, right? There is an intimacy that comes form this area and it pours out, touches everything else if you choose. Okay stop those thoughts now…let’s carry on.
Do you feel that? Yes that…all of it. Listen now to the rhythm, almost sounds like a waltz. You have reached my heart. Now I won’t let you get too close, I only allow a few inside. I keep it locked away behind my ribs to protect it from those who aren’t careful. This is where so much of my creativity is born. It is also what makes me so me. My heart is big and if I let you in, it is full of so much love. It will embrace you, sweep you away and cradle you as well. If you peek between the bars you will see some scarring. I had one that was not too kind and hurt my heart badly. She has healed but there will always be a reminder. But they say it makes it stronger and I assure you this is true. She is waiting patiently for the one with the key to let her out once more. I just love my heart.
Now let us spin down my spine until we land in my tummy. Yes, really my stomach. Why? Because that is where my gut is and also a place that grew two of my most special creations. Just being here I feel cozy knowing that two times for 9 months I created two amazing people. I nourished them, taught them, loved them, and protected them in here. It is something I was blessed with and view it as a special place. Here is also where I learned you get strong feelings. Ones that lurch out of you and scream to be noticed. I didn’t always listen to them, but learned the hard way they are here to guide you. Never know what may be moving around…it is always searching to let me know what is going on. It also seems I am a bit hungry so we might want to go before it thinks we are food. RUN!
Slow down….I know that wasn’t far but a little lower is where I was sick. If you are wondering why it seems a little darker and not as pretty as other places…well disease can take a toll on the body. I don’t mind being here anymore because the dark, pain has been removed. Now its just a shell…..
Further down we go…and no mister not there! That definitely isn’t open to the public. That area for a woman is truly special or should be treated as such. It is a gift of yourself you only share with someone special. Now hurry along and do not try to touch anything on the way. I will know!
Okay we are going to jump and it will be a good distance. But we will land on our feet…or mine I should say. Yes this has to do with my creating process. How can I write, draw or take photos without traveling? I need to experience life and all its wonders in order to pull it out of me. I have been on many adventures in my life and I know more to come. Some have been the most incredible times and others, well we all take on hard paths. You can never truly understand what a person is going through unless you are walking their path. Close your eyes and maybe try to feel some of mine.
Guess what? We are heading back up and do not complain. You were able to enjoy the wonderful dive down so a little work to climb won’t harm you. Crawl around my hips, reach up my sides until you get to my arms and then….slide. Yes SLIDE! Land in my hands….we are back to the warm safe spot. How did I do that if you were holding them? Oh I let go sometimes ago and just let you roam. You didn’t notice I guess. Here, is where all of my thoughts, feelings, and memories come out. I use them to take pictures, put down paintings or drawings and write. It is also what I use to touch you, maybe not physically but I sculpt my words to allow you inside of my world.
I may show you a picture that conjures up memories or you want to run away to that image.
I draw an image that makes you think outside the box. View the world from a different angle.
I write words that allow you to get close to me. It may leave me vulnerable but it is worth it. I don’t always write out the entire story but I leave clues just to see who can see who will look behind the word closely and really delve into my soul. I love when people can relate to what I make or inspire an emotion. Still nothing better than to have a person….very few….really know what I was saying and feel it with me. They can touch me back and what a connection can be formed. Magic yes?
Now you may stay awhile and enjoy the care of my hands. I promise you are safe and no harm will come to you. I only act from a place of love so rest, play or let your imagination go…..your choice.
For me I must go off and create some more.
Paix et amour