Photo by me

I count the petals on the daisy
I don’t want an answer to the question
but instead, I need a statement.
Affirmation
of a truth I already know
since he left.
Or was it me that walked away?

I am done with false hope and assurances.
I will no longer sit up at night staring at the phone
hoping he may call.
Longing for a knock at the door
thinking he will show.
I don’t want to wait for him anymore.
Is he looking for me?

Instead I am going to sing
loud and off-key as I dance.
Will twirl until around as the rain falls down
leaving me wet and my hair tangled.
I will laugh again.

I want to stop being the girl that had him.
and start being myself.
I am so much more than he knew.

I want to
dance
and
dream
about tomorrow instead of
crying
and whispering
secrets from yesterday.

It is time to stop looking over my shoulder
hoping he will come back.
Instead, I will start to
live without him….once more.

I pull of the petals one by one until the truth is known:
he loves me not and never did.