Come with me, I said…..peer into my mind and see the cavernous night sky. Reach up and remove the stars one by one and lay them from my shoulder to hip, take your brush and follow their path leaving nothing but acrylic in your wake.
Let your breath hover as your words spill over me, swirling until they land upon my lashes and blend in my tears. Then as I cry they will pour out and everyone will be able to hear the beauty, pain and love that once was….until it falls….drop by drop each word that was once from the heart will splash up with beauty, grace and then disappear. Like they never existed. You smile at this as I try to catch them in the air to never forget.
Pull me to you as my arching ribcage kisses your skin. Feel me clinging to you with desperation of dying poetry. My lips are parched, my tongue is pressed against the roof of my mouth pleading one word prayers composed of your name. I seek out hope in your clouded eyes. Feel for salvation in the thump of your burdened heart. You smile but it drips agony, grief and worse yet…..ostracism.
I will open my mouth one last time to breathe it in, to drown me at the bottom of the ocean. Fears come true as the boney fingers of death take hold of my heart squeezing and refusing to ease as pain gripes me. You continue to watch me choke on your anger mixed with the regret that was in my veins…..before times stainless steel knife’s edge tears into me…..you will look into my eyes.
Are you shocked at what you see…..your reflection dances in the depths of my blue eyes. Memories of us, yes it was us…the words that danced under the warm sun, laughter that twirled around rain drops as our hearts soared. You see the music and songs that made our hearts dance together….but look closer. The dark iris becomes a looking glass for you. The eyes are the windows to the soul they say but this time it is not mine you witness but your own. Your own lies and deceit confront you.
Do your scales of justice allow to weigh what lies are worse? In your world I am sure they do because it eases your own conscious. I may have written out the words to the story but you played your part as well.
In your arms I still lay with open, self inflicted wounds…yet the one who seeks and protects really is like the rest of us. Stepped aside, closed his eyes as he heard the cries of someone that made a mistake yet still accepts the punches of others.
As easy as you let me in, you cast me out. You wipe away the tears that pooled on my skin to expose the delicate area over my heart and words appear…..let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Your eyes meet mine again and in them you see the patience of meditation along with the tremors of a trapped deer. Your gaze drops to my lips now gasping for life and with those moments I mouth the words….all of our words once more.
Closing your eyes to avoid the truth, palpable moments between us and knowing that our souls intertwined….your hand clinches a rock, you lift it above your head and then it comes down with such force to stop your pain.
My body shudders one last time.
Now limp in your arms…..you let go,allowing me to fall once more then walk away.
C’est la vie, c’est la mort.